Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Cheerleading on each other

I already told you about Meg before. About how she has built a community of intelligent, funny women supporting each other, yes, through the (sane) wedding planning process but also through much much more. The girl pushes you to be who you want to be, to do what you have to do,  to dream without limits. But then she stalks you to not leave it at dreams. She makes you get a notepad, write the steps-to-the-dream and put yourself to work. Like her classmate said:

"Meg is amazing because she wants you to be your best self and is super forceful about making you work hard for it (...). It makes you feel like you're capable of amazing things."

And not unlike that quote from T.S. Eliot: "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."  Her (and the valuable community she has grown, little by little, like a plant) helped make this happen without any major drama involved:
but by the time we were married, I realized I was just going to keep on reading her. Every day. Because the wedding talk is just camouflage. It's about life, it's about feminism, it's about happiness and navigating through hard-stuff. It's about knowing that even in dark periods you -we- are not alone, and that everything is possible, like she said (about finally being able to write her book):

I’d forgotten what it was like to knock on door after door after door and get told no, over and over again. I’d forgotten how depressing it was. I’d forgotten how determined it can make you. I’d forgotten that confusing, partially excited, mostly terrified feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when someone finally says yes. I’d almost forgotten that art is my hustle.
But over these last few weeks, I’ve remembered. I’ve felt the instantaneous swoop of despair you feel at "no." I’d felt the confusing terror of "yes."

And today is the day when the book goes out. It is our (at least my) chance to pay it forward, to make it a bestseller for a day. So, if you know anyone who is getting married. Will someday get married. If you are married and like weddings, or if you just want a funny, feminist book, you are able to help this girl go big, because she has given us (me) so much. The great APW Book Buy starts today at 3:00 a.m. PST (Pacific Standard Time), that is 12:00 European time. So yes, I'm telling you it will be worth reading. And I want to help this girl's big dream come true.


  1. hello fellow immigrant! I'm the Sara from APW. i just read a few pages into your archives and love reading the foreigner perspective about all the dutch things :) have you finished your dutch courses? did you have to take the NT2? when i come back here after the holidays i really need to start a course, but its hard to tell which ones are good. blah.

  2. @Sara, so glad you came buy :) I am two weeks before the course that supposedly prepares me for the NT2, but I feel far from ready. I first took a class at TU Delft, but did not like it so much. My current school (DirectDutch) is really good, you have to make sure that you get Petra. I don't know where you live though, but school is in Den Haag (close to station Laan van NOI).

  3. We live in Hilversum now, so Den Haag is a little too far/expensive by train. Which really stinks bc I looked at the website and it looks really good!

  4. @ Sara, oh Hilversun... that is north right ? Still have to learn my dutch geography well. I am sure you will find a good place, anyway if I can be of any help just let me know :)


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