The ridiculous dance of nap time

 Babies change all the time, it's a known fact. We have gone through a couple of phases where Y. has modified her behaviour,  with us trying to adapt fast to her new ways and needs. We thought we had it all figured out in such a way that there was some sort of a flexible routine to our days together. 

There was a time when making her sleep was as easy as rocking her to a couple of Natalia Lafourcade songs while dancing with her and that was that.  There was the very beginning when she would eat and sleep, then wake up, eat and sleep. There were those two glorious months when she slept through the night (only to stop after we came back from Mexico and decide that waking up to feed is fun! Aren't parents supposed to survive on very little sleep?)

A couple of months ago we started using a baby sleeping bag, and we invented a routine that consisted in darkening her room, putting her in the bag, getting her lovey, her pacifier and a musical light-show and she would "understand" that it was sleepy time, calm down, and fall asleep (many times with the help of us rocking her at the very end)  At night, after nursing, she gets a nappy change, a bath and her pijama. Then she goes on the rocking chair with dad. All of this was working.


There was a time when I would put her in the stroller and we would enjoy long walks around the city, to the center, to parks, to the beach, to meet friends... The movement would make her sleep and she would nap beautifully.

Lately, it's a fight between her and me. I want to ensure there is some kind of (flexible, open) routine to her day, some cycles that get repeated: sleep, nappy, food, play... But, she refuses to sleep with all her might and nothing that used to work seems to work anymore. Our city hikes have turned into a crazy act where I walk really fast while swinging the stroller to the sides while she spits the pacifier away and complains that she wants to see the world. It got to a ridiculous point last Sunday, when we all went for a walk to get groceries. She wouldn't sleep and I wouldn't calm down until she would. I was almost running, seeing how she was tired and almost reaching the point where she sleeps, but wouldn't get there. Mark is a more go-with-the-flow and let-her-be kind of guy, so he was annoyed at my trying to force her to sleep when she clearly didn't want to. Also, because he knows it is driving me crazy, making the half an hour before she does fall asleep a period where I am very close to losing my mind. His philosophy is, if she wants to be awake, just let her.

I am sad that this is happening because I used to enjoy our long walks so, so much.

For the last couple of days the only way she'll sleep is if I put her in the kangaroo and walk around. But she is already almost 7.5 kg and that is just not doable if I want to also carry other stuff besides her. The idea of carrying her and a backpack makes me sweat just from thinking of it .

I found this article the other day and couldn't help but laugh:

"Think of it this way, babies are constantly changing, so anything you do today can all go out the window tomorrow.  Some people think of this as a negative: “You better be careful when he starts teething because you’ll lose all of that sleep training progress.” Whereas, I think we should think of it as a positive: “Who gives a crap if she sleeps in the swing all night? Next week she may have it totally figured out because she isn’t going to be 22 at college sleeping in her Rock n’ Sway.”

Do what works now and pat yourself on the back for knowing what that is. Mine was strapping him to my chest and bouncing on an exercise ball while humming during the day and co-sleeping at night. My friend’s baby would only go to sleep if the Gypsy Kings were playing while she drove her around the block. My other friend’s baby would only sleep in his rocker in the downstairs shower stall because the echo seemed to soothe him. Sure, you always want to move in the direction of the goal – whether it be a Pampers ad* or just sleeping without a soother – but don’t sweat it in the meantime and if you don’t push the peanut today, well tomorrow’s a new day, another night and possibly a totally different kid."

When do babies stop needing to nap? When can we play all day without having to play this game that's driving both of us crazy? (Not dad, no, he is such a patient guy that this does not affect him).

*Speaking of Pampers ads, have you seen this Japanese one? I really don't consider myself emotional and it got me all teary eyed.