20 weeks and 4 days

Don't mind the crazy face

As of last Monday, I am officially halfway through pregnancy. Isn't that amazing? It feels like time is going so fast, and is going to catch up soon, and make us run like crazy. We have, umm, well, done lots of research but haven't really prepared all those things that need preparation. Except for getting a stroller / travel system. For some reason we got really into comparing the options and then found a really good deal.

I have been feeling well, mostly normal, except those days when I am extremely hungry. I don't feel the need to take naps in the middle of the day like I used to. It's nice feeling energetic again. Oh, and I think I feel little baby move. It all started in Switzerland, at around 17 weeks, but I wasn't sure because what I felt was my tummy grumbling, similar to that feeling that tells you that you are hungry, except it would happen after dinner or meals, mostly when I was sitting down and I knew I was not hungry. Lately, I feel waves inside me that most definitely are the baby, and sometimes I feel a soft punch. It's so exciting. My body is slowly changing, and just these last 2 weeks I am kind of *really* starting to show. It mostly seems like I have a beer belly or like I ate all the cookies, but hopefully the bump will become more round and baby-like soon. Some days I feel like a thicker version of me which is weird.

We had the anatomy scan yesterday. I wanted to write about it directly afterwards, but I had been so nervous the day and morning before that after it I just felt so drained. I did make a flan just to distract myself. Little hummus is growing perfectly well, fitting in all the graphs, and all the organs are well formed. It was so exciting to see the tiny one again, to watch it move, and turn, and hide its heart from the doctor because it wouldn't stay still. It all went really fast, the gynaecologist was really down to business and she did not speak proper Dutch and had a funny accent in English so it was difficult to understand, so she mostly did her thing without explaining much except saying it's all fine. We are so happy.

And, we are having a little baby girl !!! I really had no idea or feeling about it, the night before I had a dream where I saw it was a girl, then 2 hours later I dreamt it was a boy. It is so exciting, we can finally choose a name and start really looking at baby clothes. Why is it so hard to find neutral clothes that are exciting? I love all the colors, I love stripes, and stars, and dots and patterns. And yet, either you buy everything beige (bo-ring) or you are overwhelmed by the pink or by the blue, by the hearts or little trucks. Where is the green? And the yellow? And the teal?

We are starting a childbirth class in November and we are taking a hospital tour sometime next week. I am still not sure whether or not I should take a breastfeeding class, since some of the subjects seem to overlap. Oh, and this week I finally got a pregnancy book that convinced me. Up until now I had been reading the weekly growth updates online, but I wanted to know more, from a reliable source. I did not want to get "What to expect when you're expecting" and I had not found anything that seemed scientific and neutral, and not fear-mongering or biased or had a 'you-are-the-mother-earth-mama-bear' vibe. This book is written by the head of the department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at St. Mary's Hospital in London. I like her non-judgemental, informative approach. I like the fact that there are lots of photos, diagrams and illustrations. And that it is properly researched and not based on opinions or wishy-washy bullshit. Also she had me at:

 "the women I care for keep telling me they would like a book without any prescriptive or personal agenda. When I was expecting, I remember feeling both astonished and intimidated by books that seem to suggest that there are right and wrong approaches to pregnancy and childbirth. I have no argument with the many different childbirth philosophies, but I do have a problem when they result in pregnant women feeling that they have failed in some way if they do not follow the advice to the last letter, or their pregnancy does not follow a textbook pattern. So the agenda here is very simple: knowledge is key". 

Oh and I gave in and got a pair of maternity jeans. My clothes still kind of fit, but they are also getting kind of tight and that resulted in me wearing sweatpants almost all of the time. And wow, what a change. This jeans look good, I feel put together but I am enrobed by softness all over. I think I might just wear them forever.  So that's what's been going on over here, I hope I did not bore you with the randomness of all of this.